misslizzers (misslizzers) wrote,

I drank beer so you don't have to

Last weekend, Alex and I went to the American Craft Beer Fest at Boston's WTC. It was great! I got hammered! I also took careful notes on what I was imbibing, and while the quality of those notes is a subjective opinion, looking back on them in my current state of sobriety, I can see that some comments are "drunkier" than others. Without further ado, I give you: Lizard's Drunk Ass Capsule Reviews.

Stoudts Brewing Co. (PA)

Karnival Kolsch (4.8%): Bleahgh!
Heffer-in-Wheat (Hefeweizen/5%): Yum!  Simple, refreshing.

Six Point Craft Ales (NY)

Righteous Ale (Rye Ale/6.5%): Hella nasty
Sweet Action (American Blonde/Cream Ale/5.5%): The smell is better than the taste.  Made me long for a Genny Cream.

21st Amendment Brewery (CA)

Hell or High Watermelon (Wheat Beer/4.9%): High hopes not met.

Uinta Brewing Co. (UT)

Cockeyed Cooper (Bourbon Barrel Barley Wine/11.1%): Ok.  Prolly better warm.
Labyrinth (Oak-aged Black Ale/13.2%): Complex.  Good, but I can't commit to a whole bottle.

New Century Brewing Co. (MA)

Edison Light (All Malt Pilsner/4%): Surprisingly good!  Light beer with taste.
Moonshot (All Malt Pilsner with Caffeine/5%): Functional.  Ok but not delicious.  The Jolt of beers.

Shipyard Brewing Co. (MA)

Sea Dog Blue Paw Wheat Ale (Blueberry Wheat Ale): Shipyard knows what the fuck they're doing with fruit!  Not at all like an annoying houseguest.  [This was following a discussion about Sam Adams Cherry Wheat where I likened the cherries to a friend you're initially happy to see, but with every sip, you're like, oh, you're still here? until you begin to feel a rising panic at the thought that they may never leave.]

Summer Ale (American Pale Ale): Summer is not their season, though.

Haverhill Brewery (MA)

Seventh Seal (Quad/10.1%): YUM!  Bright, then velvety with a coffee finish.
Beerstand (Berlinerweiss/3%): Bleahhhh.  SO SOUR IT HURTS.  Hitler came from Germany for a reason.

OPA-OPA Steakhouse & Brewery (MA)

Red Rock Amber Ale: Meh.  Ok, but watery.  An honor student with no personality.
Opa Opa Watermelon Ale: Like a jolly rancher sucker punched you and tried to steal your wallet.  Sweet, then tart, leaving you perplexed and vulnerable.

Allagash Brewing Co. (ME)

Allagash Victor (Belgian Strong Ale with grapes & wine yeast/9%): Aroma is misleading.  An Allagash White playing dress-up in a winery.
Allagash Curieux (Bourbon Barrel-aged Triple/11%): OMG OMG OMG.  This would annihilate me and I would love every minute of it.  Maine's answer to Fin du Monde.

High & Mighty Beer Co. (MA)

Two-Headed Beast (Belgian Chocolate Stout/4.5%): Shit yeah.  Like being punched in the face by a chocolate square.
Pas de Dieux (Saison/5%): Tre French.  Sophisticated and hoppy.  A "fuck you" to my prole palette.

Rapscallion (MA)

Rapscallion Honey (Extra Pale Ale/4.5%): I was hoping the honey would come to the rescue, but it was soundly trounced by the hops.

Brewery Ommegang (NY)

Tripel Perfection (Tripel/8.9%): Great taste but the bubbles got in the way.  The whole time I'm like, shut up, bubbles, I'm trying to read.

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