Anyway, I know that I'm arriving to this party late, but admittedly I'm catching the best part. The first time I saw The Pianist, I was blown away by the movie itself - went alone, which hightened the sense of isolation. The second time I was going because I love to watch AB. I didn' t completely lose it until I saw his interview on The Daily Show, and started thinking about him being an actual person. Now, several interviews, hours of web "research" and one copy of Vanity Faire later, and I can go on your average unofficial fan site and pick out the biographical errors.
Mostly, this has just been a cycle of distraction and self-loathing - how could I be acting like such a teenybopper? But I woke up this morning feeling good - I fell asleep within thirty seconds of his interview on Leno, an interview I thought I'd just missed and surprisingly caught every minute from big smooch to whatever it is they say when the thing is over - the "act like we're friends" moment. But more than that, I've switched to hiking as of yesterday, and I'm hitting a good stride and loving being outside, even in unforcast rainstorms, and EVEN more than that, I think I see the end of this obsession. I'm going to write my first and last fan letter ever and be done with it. Letters are wonderful things. You take the thoughts that are driving you to distraction, you throw them on some paper, and you throw them out into the world. The part of you that demands a response waits with infinite patience, and the rest of you shrugs off silence as having everything to do with an imperfect postal system, nothing personal.