misslizzers (misslizzers) wrote,

Thirty-two dollars, what is your location?

So I got robbed today. 


I am usually soooooo vigilant about my wallet.  But I had set it down on my tray at lunch where I was sitting with a couple of people.  Two of us got up to get some coffee and I almost went back when I remembered it was on the table, but lunch buddy #3 was still sitting there, so I figured, bah, I'm being paranoid.

Yeah, not so much.  She got up, too, and in the 2 minutes we were all gone, this girl and her boyfriend swooped in, took my cash, and were smart enough to leave my cards so there's no way to prove they did it, even though at a school this small it was not at all difficult to get kids nearby to identify who sat at our table for 30 seconds.

I'm annoyed, mainly at myself.  I'm also thankful that they only got about $30.  Could have been way worse.

This brings the grand total of times I have been robbed to: 7

1995 - This gorgeous litte pill box I used to carry got stolen out of my bookbag while I was in the darkroom in photography, where were weren't allowed to bring our bookbags.  A couple of weeks later someone also stole my planner, same way.  I raged about that one.

1996 - Someone broke into my car and stole my stereo which had a Spindoctors tape in it.  They figured out who did it, because the little idiots went on a crime spree that night on my street and tried to use someone's bank card, and they identified them from the cameras.  However, the cops were obviously too attached to my stereo and/or the Spindoctors because I never got my stuff back.  Jerks.

1997 - I got pickpocketed in Greenwich Village while hanging out with Matt.  My momma trained me right - I always kept my hand on my wallet - but I was carrying a pizza and needed two hands.  We stopped at a pharmacy on the way home and I realized I had no wallet, so I called Matty over to pay.  At first he was pissed because I was buying feminine products and he thought I was just trying to humliate him.  Sadly, no.  The weird part 2 of this story is that when we got back to Matt's, there was a voice message from my mom - who had been tracked down by someone who claimed they had found my wallet, devoid of cash, but cards intact.  The creepy thing is that based on where the guy was calling from, the pickpocket would practically had to have speedwalked over and handed the wallet to the guy in order for him to have called information and talked to my mom in time for her to call Matt's.  Naturally he came with me to get the wallet, since this seemed like an amazingly simple ploy for a pickpocket to lure young teenage girls into his apartment. 
         That snatch and grab cost me $70 which was devastating at the time - about a week's salary.  So today's little incident looks a lot less tragic.

2001 - I had about $40 stolen out of my wallet as it sat behind me in my bag.  I was at a poetry reading the week after 9/11 listening to the most god-awful open-mike poetry you could ever hope to hear, on the same day that I had broken up with my boyfriend upon learning that he had secretly been using heroin for six months.  On a day that felt like it couldn't get any worse, that was just the extra kick in the teeth I was looking for.

2004 - The most heartbreaking robbery ever.  I parked my car in Chinatown.  I decided to throw my backpack in the trunk and deliberately made a big show of emptying it of wallet, phone, keys, anything of value, before locking it in.  Not good enough.  Someone broke in and stole my laptop.  They also stole my adjacent backpack which had all my backup discs in it.  Everything I wrote for about a three year period was gone.  I never really got over that sense of loss and it really killed my productivity.  And for WHAT?  The guy got maybe a couple hundred dollars for a crappy old laptop.  Bastard. 
         As a public service announcement, always valet-lock your trunk (so you can't pop it with that little lever).  It is ridiculously easy to pop the driver's side lock on a Saturn.  He was probably in and out of my trunk in about a minute and 30 seconds.


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