misslizzers (misslizzers) wrote,

Tell New Jersey I quit

Sorry, I don't mean to rag on the old girl, but she's got a face for radio and is in desperate need of a bath. I just came back from Boston, which was a blast as usual. My kind of peoples. How could Jersey compare? She's jealous that I've been spending so many nights away, but my life has become a Saturn commercial. Me and my little red planetoid have been hitting all the best cities on the eastern seaboard. Made the scene in Maryland a few weeks ago, took my second annual adventure tour of New York after that. This weekend will be Pittsburgh to see Lindalea. As long as there is gas for the pumping, I am never going back to school.

Favorite Conversation: Spoke to Joe last night and tried to convince him that his ex-girlfriend is actually a ghost. A dirty trick, I know, but with the chilling rain coming down and the fact that she leaves no finger prints the argument was compelling. I also brought up the subject of therapy, which is not an alien concept in the circles I usually travel, but made him say over and over in this small incredulous voice, "Do you think I'm a wackadoodle? You think I'm a wackadoodle!" I've never felt so bourgeois in my whole life.

Top 5 things I do not miss about New Jersey:
5. The wasteland that is jersey radio.
4. The ratio of manicurists and tanning beds to human beings.
3. The green postage-stamp-size signs with critical lane-changing information placed 3cm. from the intersection.
2. The shiny-shirted cokeheads with frosted hair who monopolize the bar scene.
1. The godawful stench - go ahead, blame Staten Island, but that shit is contagious.
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