misslizzers (misslizzers) wrote,
misslizzers
misslizzers

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I'm ready to cast an unforgivable spell

Hugh and I went to see Harry Potter last night with a bunch of frikkin retards.

You would think that a movie that lets out at one in the morning would automatically screen out people too young to handle the scary scary Valdemort scenes, or people too stupid to be allowed to drive. But when Harry starts waving that wand around, you can expect all sorts of fantastical episodes to transpire. Like when the two girls climbed over 10 people twice because sharing a theater with the Unnamed One was no longer a possibility. Thank the great and powerful goblet of fire that once a happy ending was assured they could use their friend's goddamn Nextel walkie-talkie as a homing device.

Cell phones are annoying, and so are three sets of people climbing over you two times apiece, but nothing quite compares to the couple behind us who brought their INFANT. What's the difference between an infant and a chihuahua? You won't go to jail for putting a muzzle on your chihuahua. And apparently the other key difference is that you can bring your baby to a movie and nobody's going to stand in your way (unless of course I'm wrong, and the couple hid the kid in a large pocketbook like a bag of smuggled popcorn). Look, I'm sorry that nobody told you this when you kids got knocked up, but once you have a baby, you hire a babysitter or you wait for the DVD. End of discussion.

If the movie had lasted 10 minutes more I think I would have been a candidate for voluntary sterilization.
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