misslizzers (misslizzers) wrote,
misslizzers
misslizzers

Facebook be damned

Well, I joined Facebook yesterday because for the second time this month friends of mine got engaged and I was the last to know. I feel like a horse and buggy owner who realizes that the nearest hospital is 20 miles away.  I am giving in, but I don't like it, and when we all die in high-speed collisions or from greenhouse gas complications, we will rue the day when we sent our horses to the glue factory.

There is one relatively simple application (organizing friends into different mailing lists) which has caused my computer to crash twice. And I just got this notification that my computer is infected with spyware - which according to IT is almost certainly a virus that will give me spyware if I click on it. Neither of these things had ever happened to me before yesterday and I don't think it's a coincidence.

The worst thing though, is that not only is it a time suck, it has something in common with twitter which is the reason I've resisted both for so long - they make you so frikkin lazy about posting on LiveJournal. Shooting off those little one liners is SO EASY and it fulfills whatever little nagging communication need we have as social animals, but when all is said and done, all you've done is take a little crap on the internet.

I'm not saying that all the twits and status updates are bad - some are funny or informative or whatever - but it's still kind of crap. Is there good crap? I guess it's like when you have a toddler and you're like, oh, honey, that's so great, she went in the toilet again! But still. I would also like to make things that require a little bit more effort.

So, gentle readers, I will tell you in two paragraphs what I was about to tell my Facesters in one sentence: I totally fell off the treadmill the other day.  Yep.  I am a complete moron.  I was running with my ipod resting on the little treadmill shelf and somehow I smacked the cord and it went flying.  I would like to think that I fell off because my keen reflexes sent me grabbing for it in midair.  But that's not true.  I can see clearly that it has already landed way out of my reach, but my brain is too stupid to override my first impulse, so I reach for it, and suddenly I am backwards on the treadmill. 

Anyone who has seen me take a highway exit and briefly panic because I can't remember whether to go east or west knows what happens next.  I have time to think, "oh, shit, if I run one way it will be good.  If I run the other way it will be a complete disaster WHICH IS IT" and then I am on my ass trying to evacuate before the seat of my pants gets treaded right off.  To be fair, this is exactly what happens when you try crossing your arms on a bike, and you think, oh, yeah, just do the opposite of what I usually do, I get it.  And then you realize your body is not in the habit of checking in with your intellect.  Ever.  And you are on the ground missing your front teeth.

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